Wow. It's been years; I hope y'all are doing okay! So much has changed, probably for all of us, but I guess if you're here from the old days reading this, having watched and listened to that, you get what it is about it that made me want to post here again for the first time in years. The last couple post-Sauna were intense on the level that I couldn't listen to any of them more than once. It felt inappropriate. Walking into a private, solemn event to which you weren't exactly invited, but well, here you are now. I though of the one time she posted in here, felt that same mix of guilt and shame, and wishing most of all it hadn't turned out like this.
And so, sitting at home with a clear schedule, turning off my phone, and making myself fully present for whatever today's stream was going to be - the honest truth is that it was even more intense than those last albums, but in such a deeply cathartic way. Hearing him revisit these points in his life was also the sound of revisiting my own and the better part of 20 years I've spent with this music, especially those years where it meant everything to me. The dorm room nights cutting tapes of my own, the Greyhound trip to the Olympics and backpacking with "no flashlight," emotional nights walking through the snow along the Truckee or lying on the shore of Lake Michigan just looking at the moon and feeling all of those racing, powerful, young person feelings. It's hard to connect with that person now, with those feelings. Nostalgia isn't something I dwell on either. But this album helped me remember some of what was so special about that time, some of the things I knew then but had forgotten, pulling new threads between the those moments and now and remembering. I think I will be listening to this album a lot.
Last Edit: Aug 10, 2020 16:43:41 GMT -5 by halcyon